A reward jar is one of the easiest ways to encourage good behaviour at home. Instead of reminding your child again and again, you give them something they can see: every time they do the right thing, a star or token goes into the jar. When the jar is full, they earn a reward you agreed on together.
Why a reward jar works
Young children understand what they can see and touch far better than promises about later. Watching the jar fill up shows them that small efforts add up. It also shifts the focus from telling them off for what went wrong to noticing what went right.
Step 1: Pick 2 or 3 behaviours to focus on
Start small. Choose two or three clear, specific behaviours, for example:
- Brushing teeth without being asked
- Putting toys back after playing
- Finishing homework before screen time
“Be good” is too vague. “Pack your school bag before dinner” is something a child can actually do and you can actually notice.
Step 2: Agree on the reward together
Let your child help choose what the full jar earns. Rewards do not have to cost money: an extra bedtime story, a trip to the park, choosing the family movie or baking together all work well. A reward they chose themselves is far more motivating.
Step 3: Add tokens straight away
Drop the star in as soon as the good behaviour happens, and say what it was for: “You put your shoes away without being asked – that's a star!” The quicker and more specific the praise, the more it sticks.
Step 4: Never take tokens out
It is tempting to remove a star when things go wrong, but that turns the jar into a punishment tool. Keep it positive: tokens go in, they never come out. Handle misbehaviour separately.
Step 5: Celebrate, then reset
When the jar is full, give the reward promptly and make a fuss about it. Then empty the jar and start again – you can add a new behaviour once the old ones have become habits.
Tips to keep it working
- Keep the jar where your child can see it, at their eye level.
- Start with a small jar or fewer tokens so the first reward comes quickly.
- Be consistent – the system only works if both parents (and grandparents!) follow it.
- Pair it with a chart if your child is older and likes tracking progress.
Our Reward Jar for Kids comes with colourful star and smiley tokens and can be personalised with your child's name for free. For older children, a magnetic reward chart or a good habit chart works well alongside it.